About Me
Hi, I'm Larissa!
How it Started
As far back as I can remember, my experiences have been colored by my sensitivity.
Though I was a playful and silly child, I was also prone to overwhelm and overstimulation, always felt the need to put others’ needs before my own, and would feel drained and depleted in busy settings or in group activities.
Without the self awareness or language necessary to articulate when I needed space or time to myself, I would constantly push myself past my limits, which led to behaviors like emotional outbursts or social withdrawal... which were often met by scolding and redirection.
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The Problem
Being the meaning-maker that I’ve always been, I internalized the lesson that it was ‘good’ to be social, energetic, and giving of myself.
And, that it was ‘bad’ to feel quiet, reserved, or unable to keep up with my peers.
While this life lesson was never based on objective truth or fact, it became a rule that I lived my life by, well into my adulthood.
It was at this early juncture in my life that I stopped playing, and started "working on myself".
Rock Bottom
Fast forward to my twenties, I’d spent all of the chapters in between being a “yes” person... I kept myself as busy as possible with social engagements, work, side hustles, volunteering, you name it.
I routinely ignored my body’s signals telling me that I needed to slow down, and pushing myself past my energetic limits became an inherent part of my lifestyle.
As a people-pleaser, I habitually put the needs of others before my own, and found my own needs often going unmet, to the point where I felt disconnected from them entirely.
It became difficult to articulate my own desires and interests, because my head was swimming with input I’d picked up from other people.
I had committed 5years of my life to a career of working in fast-paced health technology startups, which led to waves of imposter syndrome and a persistent pressure to process differently than I do, and move faster than my natural pace.
My Decision To Change
Now, throughout these years, I was keen on self development, but through a lens of wanting to fix all of the problems that I perceived that I had.
I was able to engage in a great deal of self exploration and discovery and made a great deal of progress in my growth and self awareness, but it was always missing a crucial piece of the puzzle... despite all the insights and tools I had gained, I never fully trusted or accepted myself.
It wasn’t until I was pushed into a significant career transition that I had the time and space (and permission from myself) to deeply assess my trajectory.
As I was released from my role in a company-wide shutdown, I joylessly went through the motions of applying for similar roles and similar companies.
And... in this process, I dared to get more honest with myself than I had ever been.
While working in these environments, I was constantly teetering on burnout.
I felt stiff, numb and disconnected from my body, crouching over a laptop screen all day. I had spent so long trying to convince myself and the world that I was capable of highly technical, analytical work, that I had left the artistic, creative side of myself in the dust.
I was so exhausted that it HURT to create.
The past few projects I had poured my efforts into had led to dead ends, and I felt jaded and raw to accept that this was what I could look forward to, in the future.
And, that’s when it hit me: “Maybe it’s not possible to feel the way I want to feel, while I’m working in these roles.”
“Maybe it’s not that I’m full of problems to fix, maybe it’s that I’ve been forcing myself to live in environments that aren’t a match for who I am.”
“Maybe by denying the parts of myself that I don’t think are good enough, I’ve been holding myself back from seeing what I’m ACTUALLY capable of.”
And, possibly most importantly, "Am I actually ENJOYING what I do?!"
Breakthrough and Results
I stopped my search, and never looked back.
I granted myself some time to rest, to heal, to be gloriously unproductive, and to let my body and mind return to their natural rhythms.
I picked up casual work that allowed me to work outside in the beautiful Oregon summer. I traveled to see friends.
I roamed my city with my dog.
And, I gave myself permission to rest as deeply as a person can rest: physically, emotionally, creatively, socially, spiritually.
In the healing boredom that comes from an intentional pause, my imagination started to return to me.
Without the crowding and noise of so many other voices, my intuition began to make itself heard again.
And... I began overflowing with dreams and ideas.
It was then that the content and structure of Shadowlight Wellness came to fruition.
All of the training and self work I’d been doing for so many years with the intent of “fixing myself” started to land in a new way, once I embraced the parts of myself that I had been denying for so long.
I renewed but shifted my efforts, moving my focus towards self acceptance and trust, radical self honesty, and taking action on my intuition.
I entered my first era of really trusting that I was designed the way that I am for good reason. That there is no part of me that needs to be hidden, or compensated for.
That I don’t need to reformat myself to meet the expectations of others.
That, if I'm not having FUN or getting joy from what I'm doing, I'm probably in the wrong place.
Though some people, environments and opportunities may not be a match for me, it does not indicate anything negative about who I am - it simply leaves space for something more aligned to find me.
Themes and Takeaways
My story is one of applying a LOT of unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Of holding yourself to unrealistic standards.
Of making life feel a lot harder than it needs to be.
But, it is also one of self reclamation, and a renewed commitment to being deeply honest with yourself... even when it’s inconvenient, or scary, or reveals that something needs to change.
It’s a story of finally choosing to embrace yourself, and to trust that your voice, your message, your talents are ENOUGH.
That hiding them would deprive others of the opportunity of experiencing the value that you have to offer.
How I do it for others
And, I want to pass on all of the tools, concepts and insights that brought me to this place of self actualization to YOU.
My self discovery journey as a highly sensitive person was often lonely, and I went a long time without support or guidance.
Through my offerings of mentorship and coaching, group programs, masterclasses and membership, I help you address the key areas of your life that empaths and HSP’s need to address in order to thrive.
To shift your thinking so that you can more clearly see yourself and your value.
And, to equip you with tools, resources and support that you can utilize well into the future, as you design your unique path.